What is Italian Turkey?
At a Open House last Sunday my neighbor asked me about my plans for Thanksgiving. I immediately responded to her and said “I go to my parent’s house every year for Italian turkey.”
She promptly asked, “what is Italian turkey?”
Without missing a beat or batting an eye, I started to gesture (like we Italians do) and explained, “we shove cheese ravioli and meatballs inside the cavity of the bird and baste it during the cooking process with gravy. All respectable Italians make stuffing with ravs and balls.”
My deadpan delivery was perfect.
You shoulda seen her face. Priceless ethnic confusion.
I love messin’ with the Amerigans that way. Always makes me giggle.
Authors’s Note: Italian-American gravy is made with meat and tomatoes. Sauce has no meat. We rarely say marinara but the Amerigans like to use the term. You are not permitted to buy Ragu from the store and still call yourself Italian. But I digress…
Sexual Innuendo and the Spirit of all things Cranberry
In the spirit of all things cranberry and turkey related, I want to share a list of things that you could safely say at turkey day dinner.
I am open to vulgarity and sexual innuendo, especially at family functions so… I’m sure I’ll throw one or two of these puppies out while chowing down on my bird.
- Don’t play with your meat.
- Talk about huge breasts!
- That’s the biggest one I have ever seen!
- Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist.
- I’m in the mood for a little dark meat.
- If I don’t unbutton my pants, I will burst!
- It’s a little dry, do you still want to eat it?
- Are you a breast or a thigh man?
- Just spread the legs open and stuff it in.
Thanksgiving Prayer from Giggle On
May your Tryptophan coma be brief, may your bird be cooked properly (and on time) may your pies taste like sweets (and not Play Dough) and may your family be normal not drive you crazy, just for one day.
Salud’ to all of you Paisans and Amerigans on Gobble Gobble Day. Mangia!
Giggle On!
- the foundation for full blown fits of belly-aching laughter; laughter in an uncontrolled, silly or giddy way; to laugh repeatedly with short spasmodic sounds in a light manner.
8 responses so far ↓
1
susan
// Nov 27, 2008 at 6:27 am
Oh man, I just peed myself laughing so hard.
Thank you Christa!
susans last blog post..Happy Thanksgiving
2
JD at I Do Things
// Nov 27, 2008 at 11:00 am
I think I would love turkey stuffed with ravs and balls. Am I still an Amerigan?
Happy Thanksgiving!
JD at I Do Thingss last blog post..I Fantasize About Tim Gunn so you don’t have to
3
lea kelley
// Nov 27, 2008 at 12:34 pm
Thank you for making me laugh out loud!
Way beyond a giggle!
lea kelleys last blog post..Thank You For Evidence of the Obvious
4
chris
// Nov 27, 2008 at 1:27 pm
Let’s go, I’m hungry
5
Anna Lefler
// Nov 27, 2008 at 10:08 pm
[urp]
Happy Thanksgiving, Big C!
XO
Anna
Anna Leflers last blog post..Happy Linksgiving!
6
Michele
// Nov 24, 2009 at 4:48 pm
LOL–we really DID used to have ravs with our Turkey–but not stuffed inside. My grandfather , nonno Augusto Zinzarella, wouldn’t even LOOK at red gravy (yes, proper term–I keep splainin’ to the ‘gans) —we are northern Italians–we eat everything with browned butter and cheese–hmm, that would explain that big fat ass following me around and doing things like turning on the touch screen stove–I’m a fire safety hazard in fat girl underwear….
Anyway, as my nonna Justina Stanchina Zinzarella used to say–
“Mah! L’occhi il pu grande della pancha! Your eyes are bigger than your stomach”–which REALLY meant “HEY-So you took too much food and now you can’t eat it all can you, you little piggy?? Wadda bout them starvin’ pagan babies in Africa?? Shove that down!” And so it began…
Happy Thanksgiving–hey, I’m outta here–so what?!
Ciao,
Michele
7
Michelle Medina
// Nov 25, 2010 at 11:55 am
Lol!! You did use some of them Christa!!! You rock!! Glad I could feel useful today!!!!!!! I’m thankful for feeling useful which came through you!
Michelle Medina recently posted..Melissa L Castloo
8
subliminal turkey
// Nov 25, 2010 at 12:20 pm
Ok,there is tryptophan in turkey, but there’s actually more in chicken and some other foods. It’s not the chemical that makes you sleepy after Thanksgiving dinner, it’s all the extra energy you use digesting a huge meal.One belief is that heavy consumption of turkey meat (as for example in a Thanksgiving or Christmas feast) results in drowsiness, which has been attributed to high levels of tryptophan contained in turkey.While turkey does contain high levels of tryptophan, the amount is comparable to that contained in most other meats.Furthermore, postprandial Thanksgiving sedation may have more to do with what is consumed along with the turkey, in particular carbohydrates and alcohol, rather than the turkey itself. I hope this helps everyone who is falling asleep on Thanksgiving while watching the parade!!
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