Tony wants the government to invest the $700 billion with him – yes, he knows he’s a crook, too, just like those WallStreet and Fannie Mae/Freddie Mac crooks, but he’s a crook who knows how to “make it rain” for his investors. He would then lend the money out at half the normal street terms of $6 for $5 per week. (That’s 20% per week – a vig of over 1000% per year.) Tony would only charge half that because he’s a patriot and a real softie at heart. What a deal!

Tony not only guarantees the loans but the interest on the loans – which he will share 50/50 with the government – and can do so because:

1. He’s a business person who he doesn’t lend $$ to people he knows can’t pay it back.
2. All of the loans would be backed by collateral – an arm and a leg for starters.
3. Tony discourages payback of the principle amount; he frowns on it, thereby making this an investment in perpetuity as Myer Lansky used to refer to it.
4. Very few borrowers would default. As Clemenza would say, “Oh,you won’t be seein’ dem no more.”

As for the Wall Street guys, “Tony says “Friggem, let’em go belly up”. But to show that he is not callous or unfeeling, he will ensure each one gets a golden parachute – one that opens on impact.

Why is this a good deal for us?

In 2006, individuals paid Uncle Sam over $1 trillion in personal income taxes against a total federal budget in excess of $3 trillion. Our annual, never-ending, 50% share of the interest collected under Tony’s plan would amount to a minimum of $175 trillion per year, allowing the government to eliminate personal income taxes, fund the entire federal budget and eliminate the need for social security AND give each citizen – man, women and child – an annual dividend check of at least $500,000.

Now we might properly ask, who’s going to be sure the Congress doesn’t use the money for other things and the answer is: See Clemenza, above.

And that’s not all! It would put a permanent end to poverty and homelessness, allow us to buy all the health care we need and educate our kids at the very best private schools.
And since none of us would have to work, we could forget about worries over outsourcing jobs.
But if we want to invest all our dividend for the future and still have a reliable income for daily needs, we can do what they do in Sicily: kidnap each other and live off the ransom.

Now, I know there are skeptics out there who are asking. “What assurance do we have that Tony will actually give us our cut and not keep it all for himself. After all, he is a crook.”

Good question.
The answer – I know where he is.

I don’t know about you but I’m all for La Cosa USA Nostra: How about you?

Coach Molinaro

Mags – please forget about the polar bears. They don’t care about you. If you stop shaving your legs, allow the hair to grow long and consider adding corn-row decoration. It’s a nice fashion touch.

Julia Loo – don’t stew. Spew. It’s your right as an American. If you can’t spew at work. Chew. Chew gum until can leave work and can spew with immunity.

Tasha – we won’t let you live in a shoe unless it’s Jimmy Choo

Isabella – call Buddha. Get his fat belly on the horn and let’s convince him to run for American President. pulease!

ignorance is.

and of course my excuse, a lame one, is that i can’t vote (i’m german, living in canada). but democracy isn’t just about voting.

ideally, i’d pick SOME sources of information, study them, and then make up my mind.

in reality, right now i’m busy hiding from my fascination for sarah palin.