Funny I was waiting for the news to come on today and channel-surfed into an Oprah program on how you tell people about embarassing things. Some good advice. I do think that you have to be tactful but direct. You also have to be able to run fast when they respond!

Body odor is a tough one. For some olfactory reason the “smelly one” does not seem to be aware. As a kid I can remember the saying: “A skunk does not smell his own…ah…odor (changed to be a gentleman!) first!” In some cases I think the person is unaware. In other cases, they just do not care.

I used to supervise bright young social workers. One of them had this female client and her personal odor was horrible. My office was next to the meeting room and I wanted sometimes to gag. BUT I kept a can of Lysol spray in my desk and would fog my office during and after the visit. I spoke to the worker and she agreed that the odor was horrible. How she stayed in the same room I am not sure. We “agreed” something had to be done and that the worker needed to bring the issue to the woman’s attention. Well this young brave worker did just that and assured me that things would be different next week. I hoped she was right.

The next week came and the smell was even more overwhelming. More Lysol!! I spoke with the worker after and reminded her that the woman said she would do something about the problem. The worker said she had again confronted the woman about the odor ! The woman in question said she did….”she had turned her underwear inside out!!” I got a bigger can of Lysol and encouraged the worker to try again. I also gave the worker an “A” at the end of her course for trying and persisting.

I did have a few workers over the years with odor issues and of course everyone was upset but would do nothing except dump it on my doorstep as the senior. So I summoned my courage and with my best tact told them. In fairness to them, they were very upset and said they had not realized. They also to their credit took steps to address.

In your circumstances Christa I am not sure what you do aside from telling the person directly, dropping out or finding a competing smell.

I have actually employed the following strategy… I read once that there was a man who dealt with people who had a degenerative flesh destroying disease. He struggled and then an older fellow worker suggested he use a mentolateum type rub (Vick’s) “in his mustache and beard!” Soak it and rub it in. He did just that and said it worked. Competing smells!!!

When all else failed I too used my mentolateum rub. Of course you have to have a beard and or a mustache.

If you don’t maybe you could rub some on your arms, throat or chest. Something to compete with the foul odor.

Good luck Christa!!

Parting thought….

Do they have War Surplus Stores in your area? If so, you might buy an old Oxygen Mask and wear that to the next session to give someone a hint….

Or bring some Fabreeze to the Yoga class….

Walk up to the offending lung cougher upper and ask her “What the f*ck is that SMELL!!” “I think there may be a gas leak in this building!! Maybe we should skip class today!” Then, as she leaves turn around and go back to your spot and breathe the fresh air. OR

Make a really loud statement at the beginning of class about how wearing deodorant and chewing peppermint gum before yoga class makes you burn 500 more calories.

Here is the best way to do it. If you have the guts to pull it off!

Before class starts, go up to the front of the class. Stand there and look awkward for a few moments. Then hold up a stick of deodorant and explain, “This is deodorant. It’s a form of low-power perfume that is designed to mask odors. To apply said deodorant, pull the cap off like so. Then lift one of your arms at a time. Apply the tip of deodorant under your armpits, a minimum of 3 strokes, please. Repeat for the other armpit. If you find you are producing odors from other parts of your body, say your inner legs, then take the deodorant and apply it to your inner thigh.

Now I know that it’s possible not all of you have the time to make this purchase, so I’ve taken the liberty of purchasing enough for everyone.”

Then thank them and run like hell. (Leave the deodorant.)

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What you want to do in this situation is not beat around the bush. Before class stand up front and announce that there were some issues with a foul smell filling the room last class. That smell prevented you and or others from totally relaxing so here’s the deal…. If you stink leave. If you think you are going to stink leave. If there is evidence of you stinking now LEAVE. Get it I am telling you to LEAVE before you make everyone else in the room pass out.

Then tell everyone to close there eyes so you can count to 15 to give the person a chance to leave.

Carry – I do think come of these Stinkertons are not aware of their offensive “I smell like a dead dog” odor. I feel sorry for them, but not as sorry as I do for myself for having to smell it. I think finding a competing smell may be a good idea. I like the idea of moth balls a lot. I could place them in a row on my mat OR around the mat, kinda like a mothball moat…….hummmmmmmm, me likey that one!

lg marge – I totally heard you say “What the f*ck is that SMELL!”. I laughed out loud and was close to piddling. You are in the lead.

Matthew – excellent throwing down of the gauntlet with “if you have the guts to do it”. I HAVE the guts. Just ask lg marge – she’ll verify I have balls of steel! Perhaps bringing my own deodorant and placing it my mat may give people cause to think about their own odor. Another good idea!

Tasha – I could totally hear myself saying and pulling off: “If you stink, leave. If you think you are going to stink, leave. If there is evidence of you stinking now, LEAVE.”

Reading what you wrote reminded me of a scene in the movie Stripes, a classic comedy and one of my favorites.

Psycho: The name’s Francis Sawyer, but everybody calls me Psycho. Any of you guys call me Francis, and I’ll kill you.

Leon: Ooooooh.

Psycho: You just made the list, buddy. Also, I don’t like no one touching my stuff. So just keep your meat-hooks off. If I catch any of you guys in my stuff, I’ll kill you. And I don’t like nobody touching me. Any of you homos touch me, and I’ll kill you.

Sergeant Hulka: Lighten up, Francis.

KEEP the ideas and giggles coming people! Pass the word to your peeps and your kin. You know what they say, you gotta PLAY to WIN!

What’s the yoga studio’s policy? If they have one, alert them that there’s an issue in the class and let them handle it.

But hell…hot yoga? You mean like Bikram, right? Hey, it’s fucking hot in those places. people sweat. I go to a gym. People sweat there too. If I don’t like it, I move. End of problem.

Why enforce your ideas of hygiene on someone else? Yo, the lady needing a social worker absolutely needed some guidance in that area, but hello, that’s social work. Not yoga. I say move to another yoga mat.

Or, you wanna be REALLY brave? Befriend the woman. Take her out to coffee. Then, like you’d tell a friend with broccoli in her teeth, tell her she stinks. But with love. Not with judgment. Maybe she has a problem. Maybe she’s aware of it and is mortified. Maybe she chooses to use products that are more “natural” (and tend to be less effective, unfortunately). Most people don’t fall in that just-don’t-care category; most people DO care how they come across to others.

Have some fucking compassion.

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Yo Bitch:

I am the poster child for f*#!-ing compassion, e.g. the mission of the site. I am also very human and haven’t mastered all ^[10]. Sue me for having a sense of humor and for telling it like it is: Smelly People Suck. End of sentence.

Let’s not mince words, pussy-foot around or spend time justifying why these people smell like dead dogs. Point being (as my friend Jim would often say): fix it. Stop the stink. Stop the madness.

Now I’m all fired up.

I understand your underlying point (ok, in my damn face point) about compassion but this stinky issue also brings up the issue of personal responsibility. In my kingdom of compassion we have the 10 Commandments of Personal Responsibility. The 3rd commandment is: THOU SHALT NOT STINK. See also the 2nd limb of the 8 limbed path, Niyama, which includes the term “staunch” (not to be confused with stench) that “directs students or yoga to keep their bodies and minds physically clean.” So, I will translate for Pantajali, the head guru leader of most things yoga, and explain what he was REALLY trying to impart upon yogis and yoginis! USE DEODORANT! That’s what he meant. End of sentence.

And my fire keeps burning…

I am not talking about people smelling after a half hour, or hour of a Bikram sequence or a strenuous session on a stair master. I am talking about people stankin’ to high hell when they START their work out. I previously stated that sweat smells but I believe, quite possibly, it is my moral and humanitarian imperative to rid the world of Stinky McStinkterons. Yes, I am compelled to enforce my ideas of hygiene on someone else! “Live it. Love it. Learn it”, Carrie Bradshaw.

Sure, I should follow the yogic path and practice “tapa” and “dhyana” in regard to this stink problem but damn it, for $16 a class, I want to smell roses and Hershey chocolate while I practice. Is that so much to frickin’ ask? Sheesh!

I’m out now to douse this fire so I can return to my regularly scheduled program…….testing out the new ^[11]!

I wish I could agree that all women (except your yoga offender) smell like rose petals, but some of the worst STANKS I’ve ever smelled have emanated from the fairer sex. Have you ever had the pleasure of getting a whiff of severe feminine odor (oh, yeah, that’s what I said) covered by old-lady perfume? How about long hair that smells like it’s been lying in a grave for 5 months? Or the woman I had the joy of smelling just last weekend at my Zumba (latin music aerobics) class. She smelled like kitty litter. The used kind. The used kind that hasn’t been cleaned or emptied for weeks. WTF?

ANYway, I tend to wear my shirt pulled up over my nose half of my life, so that would be my advice to you. Only be really obvious about it. Yank up your T-shirt (start wearing one if you have to) so it covers your nose. People will either think you’re a weirdo (that’s OK) or that something stinks.

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Gotta admit, I’m proud of myself if I manage not to fart too loudly in yoga class….

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@ JD, I Do Things – kitty litter, are you serious? I feel like I’m gonna barf up a fur ball just reading about that! And I think the stank I was smelling was the feminine odor kind. THE worst…and again with the fur balls in my throat.

@ YogaForCynics – loud farts are fine, quiet farts are fine. I don’t have a big problem with farts. As a matter of fact, if you read my Favorite Things post today, I mentioned “farts, farting and fart jokes” are in fact some of my favorite things.

Dare I say, let ‘em rip gentle yogi-man!

You could also come in wearing a full on hazmat suit and a gas mask.

Thank you to everyone who chimed in with responses to my Smelly Yoga post.

The judge, moi, used a personal barometer scoring method to determine the winner.

The winner did not make me pee my pants or shoot liquid from my nose (always a highlight of my day) but I did get the heartiest and deepest burst of laughter while reading the comment from…

Lg Marge.

I could hear myself saying “What the f*ck is that SMELL!!”

Congratulations Marge!

You are the Giggle On queen of the day.

clap, clap, clap, clap for Marge!

Please contact me at christa at giggle on dot com to make arrangements to claim your prize.

For the rest of my readers, rest assured there will be new ways to win Giggle On wear. If you can’t wait to be funny, fashionable and an advocate of the Giggle On message, stop by the Giggle On store and buy some stuff! Proceeds help me spread my Giggle On message.

Way too late for the idea deadline but this stream had me laughing out loud and sharing portions with my co-workers. They however do not have nearly so sophisticatied a sense of humor as I.
I worked somewhere where a person was let go for not addressing “smell/hygiene issues” that were repeatedly brought to his attention.
I worked out next to someone who thought his cologne cloud would cover up the odor of his SBD farts.
I have regularly gotten into elevators that have unwashed female smell.
All I can say is even if you have an odor, regular bathing and deodorant do wonders. Antibacterial soap anyone?
Perhaps announce that if the offender does not address the issue, the class will– with a drag into the shower and loofahs on sticks.

I would drench yourself in so much perfume that 1. You can’t smell anyone but yourself and 2. Everyone stays so far the hell away from you that even if they stank they’d be too far away for it to reach you.

Might I suggest something from the Elizabeth Taylor collection of fragrances, which are available in all Wal-Mart stores (next to the bug bombs and motor oil)? That should clear you a wide swath of safety.

And, yes, cram some mothballs up your nose just to make sure you don’t inhale any of Liz’s potion. That stuff could drop a bull elephant.

Good luck!

XO

Anna

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I am in agreement with the haz-mat suite. But knowing you, you probably said something by now, which I hope to God you did.

I laughed my ass off (I wish!) to this one.
Love you!