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I rear-ended a dwarf

October 6th, 2008 · 17 Comments · Humor · Email This Email This · Print This Print This

I was in a car accident this morning.

I am so embarrassed. I rear-ended a car this morning with my truck. Rosie, my dog, was with me but thankfully, no one was hurt.

So, there I was, alongside the road and in complete shock (and pissed) about what just happened. As I sat there looking for my insurance papers, the other driver opened his car door and started to step outside.

It only took me a moment to realize that the other driver was a DWARF (ok, little person)!!! I know that “dwarf” is not the “politically correct” thing to say these days but that was the first word to pop into my head.

I thought perhaps I had hit my head or something and maybe it wasn’t a dwarf but in fact I had a concussion! I rubbed my eyes, looked at Rosie to make sure she was normal size, then looked back at the man. Nope, no concussion, that guy was a dwarf!

So the little dude in the car storms over to my truck, looks up at me, stamps his teenie tiny foot on the ground and shouted,

“I AM NOT HAPPY!!!”

Holding back my urge to giggle, I looked down at him and said,

“Well then…which one are you?”

That’s when the fight started…

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17 responses so far ↓

  • 1 GravatarKelli // Oct 6, 2008 at 3:02 pm

    When did this happen…I read this somewhere!!!

  • 2 GravatarMatthew Dryden // Oct 6, 2008 at 3:37 pm

    Oh Christa, your wit has gotten you into trouble!

    (I would have said, “Well, I hope your Bashful then.”)

  • 3 GravatarMelissa // Oct 6, 2008 at 4:13 pm

    I would have died, we all have irrational fears and well mine are little people. It’s not nice and I realize that, but I break out into cold sweats at the near mention of one. Thanks for the heart palpitations…

  • 4 GravatarKim Fabulous // Oct 6, 2008 at 4:54 pm

    That’s for the giggle. I actually believed you for a few minutes. I always look forward to your stories. My favorite so far is “walking to the bathroom naked”.

  • 5 GravatarMelissa // Oct 6, 2008 at 5:04 pm

    I DID believe you, hence the heart palpitations….

  • 6 GravatarJulia Loo // Oct 6, 2008 at 5:20 pm

    Hahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Thank you Christa. I woke up at 4:37 a.m., not on purpose, and have not cracked so much as a smile until now.

  • 7 Gravatarlg marge // Oct 6, 2008 at 8:25 pm

    this is hilarious! The funny part is I could actually see you saying that to him if this had been real!!

  • 8 GravatarMatthew Dryden // Oct 7, 2008 at 2:41 am

    Ach! You got me!

  • 9 GravatarCoach Rich // Oct 7, 2008 at 9:13 am

    Listen that there was some good S@!%. I almost fell over with tears with “Well then…which one are you?” Good S@!%. The sick part I could see you doing that, or I could see me doing that. :)

  • 10 Gravatarmichelle // Oct 7, 2008 at 10:50 am

    that’s friggin hilarious..he must have been “grumpy” :D

  • 11 GravatarTasha // Oct 7, 2008 at 2:17 pm

    That was just to funny… Beware of the little people they come out of no where!!

  • 12 GravatarWill // Oct 8, 2008 at 4:21 pm

    lol nice… ive never been insulted by a dwarf before, i would laugh my ass off as he yelled at me. By the way, nice come back, “Well then… which one are you?” lol =)

  • 13 GravatarChrista // Oct 9, 2008 at 8:26 pm

    I have received so many calls from concerned friends asking me if I am ok after this accident. Let me reassure you all that this story was a JOKE! I was not in an accident and have never even seen a dwarf driving, although, that would be some funny ass stuff for sure!

    @ Melissa – sorry to have brought up your fear of little people and for causing heart palpitations. However, I am pretty short and you didn’t appear to be scared of me at all last time we met. What’s the height limit for you? Just curious…

    @ Julia – your giggles are always my pleasure

    @ Kim Fabulous - (and you are) – check out my Smelly Yoga post, I mentioned YOU!

    @ Large Marge – funny, I could also see you saying the same thing, and, with an English accent!

    @ Matthew – I’m a kidder Matthew – just warning you for next time!

    @ Coach Rich – thanks for stopping by J! Glad I almost knocked you over in tears. Next time, I’m shooting to make you pee your pants. I’m just sayin’……

    @ Michelle – yes, “Grumpy” was his name

  • 14 GravatarAnna Lefler // Oct 10, 2008 at 10:17 pm

    Har! This was hilarious! I feel “Dopey” for falling for it…but I loved it.

    :^) Anna

    Anna Leflers last blog post..I Reject the Following on Various Grounds:

  • 15 GravatarNever Mind Global Warming—Stop Global Whining! | New Age Bitch // Oct 20, 2008 at 1:55 am

    [...] Brilliant Blog-Type person is Christa who wrote some funny shit about the time she rear-ended a dwarf (oh get your fucking mind out of the gutter! Not THAT kind of rear-ended!) and also some serious [...]

  • 16 GravatarDelila // Oct 29, 2008 at 3:39 am

    Well said.

  • 17 GravatarBeav // Dec 9, 2008 at 7:52 pm

    My guess is, you reared - ended the little known 8th dwarf, Livid.

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