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Keeping News in Perspective

January 10th, 2011 · 3 Comments · Humor/Laughter · Email This Email This · Print This Print This

News, politics and political news drives me crazy. Where is the truth these days? Is there anyone reporting the facts anymore?  Don’t even get me started about politicians! grrrr

Thanks to an email forwarded from my father, I FINALLY know how to  keep ‘news’ in perspective while maintaining a sense of humor. Thanks for the giggles Pop. I love you.

1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country.

2. The Washington Post is read by people who think they run the country.

3. The New York Times is read by people who think they should run the country and who are very good at crossword puzzles.

4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country but don’t really understand The New York Times. They do, however, like their statistics shown in pie charts.

5. The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn’t mind running the country, if they could find the time — and if they didn’t have to leave Southern California to do it.

6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the country and did a poor job of it, thank you very much.

7. The New York Post is read by people who don’t care who is running the country as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably while intoxicated.

8. The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country, but need the baseball scores.

9. The St. Louis Post-Dispatch is read by people who want only the score of the Cardinals game. They drink Budweiser, Budweiser, and — wait a minute — what was the question?

10. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren’t sure if there is a country or that anyone is running it; but if so, they oppose all that they stand for. There are occasional exceptions if the leaders are handicapped minority feminist atheist dwarfs who also happen to be illegal aliens from any other country or galaxy, provided of course, that they are not Republicans.

11. The National Enquirer is read by people trapped in line at the grocery store.

12. The Seattle Times is read by people who have recently caught a fish and need something to wrap it in.

– Author Unknown


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3 responses so far ↓

  • 1 GravatarY is for Yogini // Jan 12, 2011 at 6:01 am

    Dahhhling, we are terribly, wondrously busy here in LA. We’d run the world, but there’s vitamin D to soak up first. :P

  • 2 GravatarChrista // Jan 16, 2011 at 3:18 pm

    @Y is for Yogini – send some of that extra Vitamin D over here. Too cold in Delaware (can’t feel my giggle fingers – lol)

  • 3 Gravatarhogsatemysister // Aug 4, 2011 at 4:49 am

    The Waco Tribune-Herald is for people who have been dead since 1932. I should know. I was held hostage there from 1980-1982. Ack.
    hogsatemysister recently posted..Trying to bulk up? Buy a used treadmill…My Profile

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