Jury Duty Jesus is on my side!

I only wasted 5 hours of my life at jury duty. I mean no disrespect but I believe “Jury Duty Jesus” was on my side today.

Thank you Jury Duty Jesus!!!

I have been panicky for 6 weeks about serving. Sure, sure, sure – it’s my civic duty to serve. Yadda, yadda, yadda…but can’t it wait until I’m retired? I have a business to run and no Oompa-Loompas or Munchins to take over for me while I’m gone. I need to get some Oompas though – sooner than later too – I’m a busy girl.

How to get out of jury duty: the softball method

I want to take time to thank the girl who threw a softball at my head over 8 years ago. She helped get me out of jury duty…seriously, read on!

Ok, listen – 8 something years ago I decided to escape from my life on the East Coast and move to Lake Tahoe. Friends of mine from Philly relocated there and told me I could visit anytime. After my first long-term relationship ended, I packed my POS (piece of shit) Ford with some of my belongings and drove west alone. I must have listened to the Pet Shop Boys song “Go West” about 100 times on that trip. Anyway………I head to Tahoe, get myself a few jobs and start living the Tahoe life. Good stuff all the way around, or, so I thought.

How does all this relate to jury duy?

I went to watch a girlfriend of mine play softball. While sitting in the bleachers, a girl, no doubt the pitcher of the opposing team, was warming up on the sidelines. She threw a f-a-s-t pitch. The softball (not soft I might add) didn’t land in the catcher’s mitt, it landed with a crashing THUD on the left side of my face.

After pulling myself off the ground, my friends rushed me to the ER (no McDreamy in site). I am told to my great dismay and disgust that I need surgery to fix a broken “zygomatic arch” (or cheek bone for you non medical heads out there).

Nice, real nice. Can you say “OUCH“?!

I am leaving out key details here, but it’s my blog and I’m allowed. I retained a lawyer to help me go after this girl for her negligence (trust me, it was her fault – I’m not the personal injury lawsuit type). The lawyer screwed up the case so bad he had to pay ME! How’s that for justice? …anyway…

Back to jury duty

The case on the docket at court here in Wilmington was a personal injury matter between a couple and State Farm insurance. The judge asked if anyone had been involved in a personal injury lawsuit and I happily said “yes” or was it “YES, YES, YES”?

Thanks to the stupid idiot girl (probably a blonde) in Tahoe for breaking my face with the softball, I only wasted 5 hours of my life at court today.

THANK YOU STUPID BLONDE GIRL. THANK YOU JURY DUTY JESUS!!!!!

Lesson:

1. You can run from yourself. But…you cannot hide.

2. There’s ALWAYS a silver lining to every black cloud! Even when things are crappy and you think someone has ruined your life (or busts your face) it can turn out to be a positive for you later on.

Keep the faith people – Giggle On!