Part 2 of Giggle On’s Suicide Awareness and Survivor Support series outlines what to do if someone is threatening suicide.
Giggle On! does not provide direct suicide hotline support; rather, we are a bridge to bring information to you.
IF YOU ARE THINKING ABOUT SUICIDE…READ THIS FIRST!
For survivors like you and me, hindsight is 20/20. We can’t go back and change the past. We can learn from our experiences and help prevent future loss of life.
How do I Help a Suicidal Person?
If someone you know is threatening to end it all, the American Association of Suicidology suggest:
- Be direct. Talk openly and matter-of-factly about suicide.
- Be willing to listen. Allow expressions of feelings. Accept the feelings.
- Be non-judgmental. Don’t debate whether suicide is right or wrong, or whether feelings are good or bad. Don’t lecture on the value of life.
- Get involved. Become available. Show interest and support.
- Don’t dare him or her to do it.
- Don’t act shocked. This will put distance between you.
- Offer hope that alternatives are available but do not offer glib reassurance.
- Take action. Remove means, such as guns or stockpiled pills.
- Get help from persons or agencies specializing in crisis intervention and suicide prevention.
You can’t change the past but you can learn from it…
The suggestions made by the American Association of Suicidology are sound but I must add, don’t go beating yourself up about what happened yesterday. You can’t change the past. You can choose to enjoy the present.
In retrospect, I made two major mistakes with Jim and should have taken the gun and asked for help from a suicide prevention agency. I may have lost his trust as a friend, but perhaps he would still be alive today. No one will ever know. I have moved on and I forgive myself (mostly – it takes time).
As hard as it is for me to write this, our loved ones made a choice. They made a forever decision to end their pain. All the begging, bartering and praying won’t change that fact. I know. I tried. Jim hasn’t come back to life.
Live well and laugh everyday
I am a very spiritual person. I believe Jim’s spirit is alive and well. It is my belief that your friend or loved one is alive and well too, in spirit. They are probably looking over your shoulder right now as you read this. They are whispering in your ear and speaking to your heart and saying, “I love you. Please forgive me for causing you pain. I am ok. Please live well and laugh everyday.”
Souls who passed by way of suicide do not want us to suffer for one more nanosecond about their death. Mark my words on that! In my opinion, they want us live life to the fullest, laugh heartily and spread messages of hope to others.
Take what you’ve learned from your loss and find the strength inside you (I know it’s there, I can see it) to move forward and Giggle On!
Don’t Give Up!…Giggle On! – pass the word.
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Related posts:
Suicide: Part 1 – Facts & Warning Signs
Walk to beat depression and suicide
Wilmington’s Out of the Darkness Walk, photo essay
- the foundation for full blown fits of belly-aching laughter; laughter in an uncontrolled, silly or giddy way; to laugh repeatedly with short spasmodic sounds in a light manner.
5 responses so far ↓
1
Wendy
// Oct 4, 2008 at 9:51 pm
Thank you so much for this post!! You know how much it means to me.
Wendy
2
Carry
// Oct 5, 2008 at 5:22 pm
Christa…good advice if you have a friend or a loved one thinking of suicide.
I had a professional peer commit suicide a long time ago. If there had been a list of potential suicides in this town, she would not have been on the list.
There were signs but I was too trusting and missed them. I resolved never to do that again. If my alarm bells went off, I would do what I could to conscript the help of others who might be able to help as well, or better.
On several occasions I have called doctors, priests or other professionals and alerted them to what I felt was about to happen. Some viewed it with a little suspicion but I did not care. I wanted the people to get help immediately! It was taking a risk but I always felt the risk was well worth it.
Keep on your good efforts Christa. They are a living testament to your friend, Jim…
3
Shaz
// Oct 28, 2008 at 11:23 am
Hi, A friend of yours from Wilmington put me in direction of this website as I am a “survivor of suicide” – your site has touched me. My psychic medium/counsellor advised me when dealing with my guilt in a good way. She told me I didn’t have the right to make other peoples choices. Therefore Michael and Jim were free to make their own choices and did. We can create awareness and reach out to the living, but we have to respect the choices of those that comitted suicide. Taking the gun away could only stop him from shooting himself not killing himself. Sharon – Northern Ireland
4
robin
// Jul 17, 2009 at 12:14 am
My mind knows it wasn’t my fault-but my son’s…in fact he wrote in his note..’it’s my fault. no one else’s) yet I’m still grateful for your reminders. I also like what Shaz said about taking the gun (her last sentence)
5
The Difference Between Depression & Losing Your Mojo | OwningPink
// Jul 21, 2009 at 10:22 am
[...] or Do You Know Someone Who Is? If you know someone who is suicidally depressed, please read How Do I Help A Suicidal Person? by Mojo Mentor Christa Scalies. If you’ve lost someone you love to suicide, please read Tips [...]
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