Laughing and Crying

One of the elders in my Laughter Yoga group, with whom I have a special connection, asked me if I would offer private grief counseling sessions with him after the suicide of his beloved wife of 40 years. She was living with a brain condition that brought her much distress and planned her exit from this life without consulting him.
As a former Bereavement Program Coordinator with Hospice, I am familiar with supporting people during their grief and in this case, educating around the added pain of Trauma when someone has experienced a sudden violent death in their life. In addition to providing him with resources, guidance for what to expect in the grieving processs and meditative tools, we also honor his wife with joyful laughter.

Thank you for keeping up the good work.
Sincerely,
Carmela

As my gal Joni Mitchell sang: ” Laughing and crying . . you know it’s the same release … I told you when I met you I was crazy …. Cry for us all . . . ”

I send my fondest regards to you on this anniversary of your friend Jim’s death. He left you in the official season of grief, Autumn. Cultures around the world honor this shift toward darkness as the time when the veil between our loved ones who have died and the living is the most thin. Halloween? Day of the Dead? No coincidence, Sister. Tis the season. And your guy left during this darkening moody time that is Fall.

As a gal who lost two dear, close, friends — my beloved dance partner, Tippi, and, my fave guy pal Kenneth —— plus dozens of “party friends” to AIDS when I was in my 30′s — I know the feeling of what they called “youthful grieving before our time.” It is never the time. Believe me. I get it. The loss of my favorite person in the world, my Uncle Jack, when he was 19 and me just 15, set the tone for me and loss at an early age. There is a good reason that I practiced Day of the Dead with extravagant ofrendas twelve feet high and a hundred people toasting their dear dead ones for sixteen years of parties in my home. We even had a Dear Dead Buffet upon which guests were invited to place their loved one’s fave foods.

Working with hospice for eleven years gave me further opportunities to learn from the dying and honor the living and to give grief its due. I say that there is no such thing as “closure.” Grief is grief is grief. It is part of living. And grief does not have an expiration date like a milk carton. Our friends are missing from our lives forever. But that does not mean that they are not present too.

Your loss is honored tonight. I will light a candle now. To Jim. To you.

There ain’t nothing wrong with tears. Let ‘em out whenever you need to. But giggling is good too, although I won’t say “better”.

You and your truck sound like good buddies, and I’m glad you’ve got a DJ-in-the-sky looking after you.

Definitely, keep Giggling On!
.-= Svasti´s last blog ..Generating lurvvve – part 1 =-.