Life literally abounds in comedy if you just look around you. – Mel Brooks

Chocolate: A threat to airline safety

A Giggle Fit found me in an unexpected place  – in the airport bathroom in Phoenix, Arizona.

I left Philly this past Sunday to travel to Lake Tahoe for a conference (where I sit and write this to you). I flew on my favorite airline: Southwest.  The 5 hour plane ride to Phoenix was a bit bumpy but the cabin crew made up for the turbulence in humor. From the moment we entered the plane to the moment we left, the Southwest stand-up comedy and air safety show was in full gear.

One in-flight cabin announcement went something like this:

For the sake of airline safety for all passengers, please hand over any chocolate you may have in your possession to the flight crew.

Chocolate may interfere with the navigation controls of the plane and frankly, the crew is seriously hungry for a cocoa fix (preferably, with almonds).

Rushing to Pee

I was happy once we finally landed for two main reasons:

#1. My seat mate had the worst case of halitosis I have ever encountered in my life – dude – how can you not know your breath smells?

#2. I had to pee and I had to pee badly.

I raced to the potty like any normal female would after holding her bladder for what seemed like an eternity. Yes, I visited the airplane bathroom but the mid-air version of Peeus Waiticus set in. I didn’t want to keep bothering my Altoid-deficient seat mate to pee so I stopped drinking liquids. I’m so polite (or stupid) like that.

The Phoenix airport is just lovely. If you’ve never been to the Phoenix airport, do stop by. I have no idea what the city is like but honestly, I didn’t see a need to leave the airport at all. The bathrooms are freshly decorated in Southwestern designs and by all measures, it was as clean as an airport lavatory could be. Nice. Very nice.

The Transcript of Nature’s Call

I maneuvered my luggage and my carry on into the stall. It was a tight squeeze but I managed just fine. As I was preparing to answer Nature’s Urgent Call, I neglected to take notice that the potty was equipped with an Automatic Flushing device.

The transcript of Nature’s Call went something like this:

Hello, this is Nature Calling. Is Christa there?

Yes, yes – this is Christa. It is nice to talk to you again Nature. It has been a few hours since we chatted last and I am sure glad I’m around to take the call now. Whew, what a relief!

The real meaning of the words: Water Closet

After I ended my call with Nature, I stood up (as most people are prone to do) and started to pull up my pants. That is when the laughter started. Before my butt even left the seat by a centimeter, the automatic flusher went Off, or shall I say…it went Up!

I burst out into laughter immediately. I stood there shaking my head back and forth as we humans often do when acknowledging something funny. The old Christa would have gotten mad, probably cursed obscenities and stomped my way out of the ladies room in anger. Who wants potty water splashed on their ass?

Why get mad though? Pish-posh! Getting mad wouldn’t have changed what happened. Laughing was a choice I made. I made a conscious choice to change my response to the somewhat unpleasant and unhygienic situation.

Perception is everything, right?

I brushed myself off, or rather, wiped myself off, picked up my bags and left the stall with a big smile on my face. Having water shoot up at your bum unexpectedly is funny and because it was unexpected, it was doubly funny. Mel Brooks is right – comedy is all around us – we just need to look for it.

As I left the bathroom, I couldn’t help but wonder what the other women in the Phoenix lavatory thought about the laughter coming from stall #4. The term “Water Closet” has a whole new meaning for me now.

Giggle On!