Ever found yourself unable to giggle?
Have you ever felt hesitant or ashamed to ask for help? I have.
I recently received an email from subscriber “Sara” who shared some of her fears and personal feelings with me. In an effort to help others in a similar situations, I decided to share her email and my response. “Sara” is not her real name.
“My giggle is out of order. I really don’t feel like I can find it. Please help!”
There is so much going on right now and I am having trouble dealing with it. I have a very small support system but I really don’t think people care to hear about my problems. My son disowned me – he is tired of hearing about my problems but he doesn’t even know half the times that I have been really bad off. So now I am hesitant to ask or go to anyone for help.
I do have a therapist that I see once a week and she does help. I visit my grand kids and they always bring a smile to my face but then there is the rest of the time. I have found that everyone is so busy with their lives that they just don’t have time to think about what I might be dealing with.
Right now my dad is dying and I have to sell my house because of financial reasons. I am doing this on my own. It is pretty scary.
I keep thinking that it is going to get better but when you are alone this seems pretty impossible. Thanks for listening.”
“Don’t let your son stop you from reaching out to other people.”
Family is blood, yes, but honestly they can often be big pains in the butt and the most critical of us. You can’t choose family but You Can Choose Friends. That’s a good thing. We can choose to change our support system!
I am sorry to hear about your dad and having to sell your house.
Sometimes the change that scares us most is the kind of change we need most – the kind of change that helps us grow and transform ourselves in a positive way. I never would have thought my friend killing himself would turn out to be a blessing for me. We NEVER can predict the good stuff that comes from pain and from change.
Please Try This
1) Write down 17 things you are grateful for. Be VERY specific. If you want to share it with me, great, if not, post this list in a prominent spot in your house. Look at it every day.
2) Write down 23 things you wish to bring into your life. (if it is financial resources, write how much, a new house, describe it, see it in your mind and write it down). Look at it every day.
I completed the above exercise a few years ago when I was in a pit of muck, despair and sadness. Even though I know we cannot control all the bad things that happen, we can create new pathways to react and respond when life hit us hard.
It May Sound Trite, but…
Granted, I am no therapist, no doctor, just a recovered depressed and suicidal chick.
NOTHING is impossible Sara
Keep telling yourself: Yes, I can! Yes, I will. Life is good.
Disclaimer: Christa Scalies is not a psychiatrist or a therapist. If you or your loved one is in immediate danger, call 911 immediately.
If you or someone you know is in a suicidal crisis, requires information about mental health resources or any other crisis situation, call the trained staff at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).