FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS!
Except that one where you’re naked in church.
Kinky is using a feather.
Perverted is using the whole chicken.
My short-term memory is not as sharp as it used to be.
Also, my short-term memory’s not as sharp as it used to be.
You’re great, but when zombies chase us, I’m tripping you!
In just two days from now, tomorrow will be yesterday.
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
The statement below is true.
The statement above is false.
Don’t sweat the petty things.
Don’t pet the sweaty things.
Special thanks to my friend Anita for forwarding these funnies to me.