Friends in Need

life-saverHelping Friends in Need

Last weekend I helped a friend of mine extricate the last remnants of her ex-husband from her home. She had a posse of friends around to help her sort, pack and deliver the old memories to her ex.

It was a hard day for her but all and all we maintained a giggletude in the midst of some tears and anger. I was glad to be there for her.

I love helping my friends.

Suicide Threat and Saving a Life

A few nights ago I received an email from another friend asking for my help concerning an attempted suicide.

I was told a local Wilmington man was threatening to kill himself but thankfully his wife was able to get him to the emergency room. THANK GOD. In about an hour I will meet this woman in person and hopefully, I will be able to help her in some small way during what must be a very difficult time for her, her husband and family.

I admit, when my friend contacted me a few nights ago, I had just returned from an evening of beer drinking with friends. Even though I only had two beers, I had quite the buzz on. All this healthy eating and yoga has lowered my tolerance. *giggle*

As soon as I read his words, “she’s looking for guidance/support on what to do next“, I sobered up quick!  I want to help save lives.

My intention at lunch today is simple:

  1. Listen
  2. Send her some serious love energy
  3. Offer local resources to assist her during this time, specifically the Mental Health Association of Delaware, NAMI and information for Contact Lifelife.
  4. Give her a pamphlet from the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline called: AFTER AN ATTEMPT, A Guide for Taking Care of Yourself After Your Treatment in the Emergency Department.
  5. Briefly tell her my story, the Cliff Note version, in an effort to give her hope that mental illness, suicidal thoughts and tendencies are very treatable. Jim Thompson didn’t make it but I did!
  6. Offer her some levity, perhaps a few giggles and a big purple bottle of bubbles. 🙂

If you are the praying sort, please send out some love energy to this woman and her family.

Update: January 24, 2011 – the suicidal man mentioned in this blog post is now living in California, has taken a new job and according to his wife, he’s doing very well. YAY!

Every life is precious. Savor the life you were given, make the most of every single breath and tell those you care about “I love you. You matter”.

More Help

Have you lost someone you love to suicide? Would you like to openly communicate with people in a Facebook group format, please visit my friend Kelli’s From Surviving to Thriving page.

Would you like to participate in Giggle On’s Survivor of Suicide Q & A series, please visit this post and scroll to the bottom for more information.

If someone you know is threatening suicide, please seek help for them immediately. Please read How to Help Suicidal People and Suicide: Part 1 – Facts & Warning Signs.


  1. Good for you for stepping in to help. Often people don’t know what to say to a person dealing with mental illness or to their family members. Therefore, they may say nothing in an attempt to avoid making a faux pas. But, the important thing is to reach out, show support, and, if appropriate, let him or her know what they mean to you. It can make all the difference in the world, and it doesn’t cost a penny.

  2. Very sad – weird thing though…on this same day on my friends one year anniversary of her Dads suicide, I got an email via my website from a woman in California that’s brother committed suicide on 7/14 (my friends dads death anniversary) – – sad thing is he has young kids a great house, money family, freinds, a dog, a job and after he ate breakfast with the wife and kids, kissed them all as if he was leaving for work, went into the garage and shot himself – this woman, his sister is in utter shock!

  3. I thought it might be helpful to hear from someone (me) who has been lethally suicidal–that is, I had a plan, and was willing to carry it out. Also, I am a mental health professional–no one is immune, obviously! What gets someone past it is people taking it seriously–and get you help, no matter how much you protest. Susan, who writes above, it correct—friends who stay with you are true friends. It DOES pass! But at the time, when you are in so much pain–it seems like SUCH a logical action–not just for yourself, but for everyone in your life–that’s how bad you feel. The people who helped me the most were the ones who didn’t say more than, “I know it’s bad now, but it WILL get better, and I will be here.” Nothing more, nothing less. No guilt trips, etc. I kept telling them they were wrong–that they didn’t get it, but they hung in…and here I am. I am paying it forward here–if you are in pain–it will pass–it WILL pass. Life is all cycles of up and down, in and out–the tides. Your brain (with help) will literally get tired of it and pull you out of it! Really!!! With gratitude for good friends, family and Christa.

    • @ Sue – You have also done much to help de-stigmatize mental illness by telling your story, or your brothers story, in the community news last year. Your article quotes a source at NAMI, the National Alliance for Mental Illness “There is no single cause of major depression. Psychological, biological, and environmental factors may all contribute to its development.” Sharing strength and time, as you mentioned, with those suffering from depression is a great way to support those we love. I applaud YOU for your efforts!

      @ Kelli – I hope this woman that contacted you through your website get the help and support she needs in the aftermath of her brother’s suicide. I am so thankful for you, your friendship and the group we are building together to support those who lost someone to suicide.

      @ Susan – I am glad you stopped by. Having friends we can call on, even for a few minutes or by way of the internet is helpful. My Australian friend, Svasti (whom I have never met) is a great source of strength for me.

      @ Michele – I am glad you chimed in with your experience with suicidal thoughts and damn glad you didn’t complete the act. You explained perfectly the mind-set I had when thinking about suicide – it seems like a logical thing to do when you are in pain but in fact, it is NOT the best thing to do. As my friend Kelli (above) often says, suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

  4. Christa,
    Thanks so much for taking the time to help let others know there is help available. We have someone here at ContactLifeline 24/7 – we’re here to listen, here to help.
    Silence can result in valuable members of our community taking their own lives in a time of need – silent no more.
    Thanks for being there – Elizabeth

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