Bitch Slappin’ My Funny


Don’t Bitch Slap My Funny

My beloved funny got smacked right out of my pretty head at the end of October 2009. Bitch slapped nonetheless.

I HATE when that happens.

My Giggle said goingGoingG-O-N-E!

Suicide punched me square in the gut, AGAIN. Now I am left pondering the meaning of “Jim Suicide Squared” or should I refer to them as “The Two Jims” or keep it all separate like “Jim #1” and “Jim #2”?

“All endings are also beginnings. We just don’t know it at the time.” — Mitch Albom

Wake Up Laughing

An energy worker I know wrote to me and said, “Death is probably an illusion, so you and your Jim’s likely set this whole scenario up in the first place… You will wake up laughing at how you took the whole thing so seriously when you die.”

Maybe I’m wasting my time cursing like a longshoreman at the Two Jims. Why waste a good Sicilian rant or a screaming tirade on another tragic event?

Why ask why?

Don’t take life too seriously. You’ll never get out alive. — Bugs Bunny

Happy Buddha

Maybe I will wake up laughing about the whole thing someday. Maybe I should be more like Happy Buddha and just laugh now?

If you’re going to be able to look back on something and laugh about it, you might as well laugh about it now.Marie Osmond

Now I have the choice to let this second death, that’s Jim #2, smack me down and wreck my groovy giggly mojo OR I can choose to create a new beginning for myself.


Press 1 for New Beginnings

I’ll take new beginnings for the block please Wink (that’s Wink Martindale from the game show Tic-Tac-Dough) and in the spirit of Wheel of Fortune, I’d also like to buy a vowel. I’ll take an “i” which stands for, “I” as in me, myself and I.

Maybe there isn’t some deep meaning in this second death. Maybe it is just an eerie tragic irony and not a karmic coincidence or anything bigger or more significant.

Fact is, or, “point being” as Jim #1 used to say, I can’t really help or inspire anyone. All I can really do is help myself – that is, focus on the “I” and everything else will (I hope) fall into place.

Just The Fact’s Ma’am

To attempt to make sense of the senseless, my logical & practical mind started to review the facts.

Fact #1:  I would not be alive without Jim Thompson (Jim #1) and my dog, Rosie

Fact #2: Giggle On would not have been created without Jim Sims (Jim #2)

Fact #3: There will not be a Jim #3 – EVER! If you want to befriend me and your name is Jim, I’m going to need a complete back-ground check and a mental health assessment. I am allergic to suicide and must protect myself – surely you all understand.

Fact #4: I cannot prevent suicide. Nope. Can’t do it. I cannot stop 1 million people a year from killing themselves. I cannot stop the 10 to 20 million attempted suicides each year. {1}

Fact #5: I am growing tired talking about mental illness, depression and suicide. I intentionally set out to help raise awareness but in all honesty this mission is sucking the energy right out of me.

Fact #6: I love making lists.

Fact #7: Laughter is our birthright. Everyone wants to laugh and seems pretty obvious I need to spend more time on the laughter part and less time on the crying my eyes out part.

Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward. — Kurt Vonnegut

Getting My Giggle Back

It’s one thing to get your Giggle On, it’s another thing to get it back. This past month has been a real be-otch for me. I fell victim to CGDS, Chronic Giggle Deficiency Syndrome but thankfully I am taking action to cure myself from this insidious joy killing disease. Enter stage left: Handerpants.

Thank You Handerpants

The commercial for Handerpants (a silly and ingenious must-have product) set me into a fits of belly rolling laughter.  I laughed until tears started to stream down my face and in all honesty, I nearly peed in my pants. I LOVE when that happens. Unbridled joy is manifest by peeing in your pants – I think I read that somewhere. *giggle*

One never knows what might tickle a broken funny bone so you must develop your own Humor Plan of Action!

Could Handerpants be the cure-all for CGDS? *eyes bugging out*


Thank you Handerpants. Thank you Archie McPhee!

P.S.  Santa, I’d love a pair of these for Christmas!

P.P.S. Thank you Archie McPhee for making me laugh. I just bought $190 worth of products from your online store and I can’t wait to get my Yodelling Pickle, the Nunzilla and those groovy bacon bandages.

Related posts:

Humor Plan of Action

Is it Depression or lost Mojo?

Don’t Let Worry Kill Your Giggle

Dear Christa: My giggle is out of order. Please help!


    • @ Svasti – thanks so much. You’ve been a bright light for me and I’m thrilled to be getting my giggle back. 🙂

      @ Tom – I’m only 5′ 4″ but I’ll stand as tall as I can! Hoping to head back to the gym soon to get my bitch slappin’ biceps back in gear too. 🙂

      Note: Just received a personal and private message from a reader who will remain anonymous (unless she wants to chime in and make herself known).

      Here’s the email:

      Sent: Wednesday, December 02, 2009 12:15 PM
      Subject: why another suicide in your life


      I am emailing you in private instead of commenting on your site to give you some dignity.

      You know why you still question why there is another suicide in your life? It’s because your website does not truly have God in your message. Instead you are into these eastern zen, yoga etc. beliefs that are vague and does not give concrete HOPE that only God can give. You yourself need to find God in your life.

      With all the reaching out you do, you have to question your true motive. You are just craving for attention and it has become a business now for you. You feel sad Jim2 is also dead but look at you still acting like this. This is not how a human who is grieving should act.

      If you continue on without sincerity in your heart, your “giggleon” message will be in vain. And those who happen to chance upon your website will still be left groping for true answers. And you yourself will not find true peace in your heart. The Holy Book says when you do good acts, do it in secret so that the Father in Heaven will reward you. By people constantly praising you and you making so much noise about your message, you are already getting your reward.

      I know this will offend you but a day comes in a person’s life that he/she is confronted by someone telling the truth.

      My response:

      I knew a message like this would come today. Actually, my horoscope told me yesterday!

      You could have left this on my site but I understand your desire to email me privately. I am not offended but do feel the need to clarify a few things.

      First, I do not make a dime from my site (wish I did).

      Do I get attention here? Yes. Don’t we all as humans crave attention, love and understanding from our fellow man?

      Second, who are you to judge how a grieving human should act? God does not judge me. It is my choice what I want to share and what to keep private. Would I be more genuine and real if I video-taped myself crying and screaming and cursing?

      Third, God IS in my life (fear not). He is on the dashboard of my truck, on my keychain and (on a more permanent level) the Holy Trinity is tattooed on my body in the form of a Celtic Trinity knot. These are just symbols though. God, that universal life force responsible for every breath in my body, is most certainly with me every moment of every day. He is with me when I type every letter. Thank you God. Thank you Dashboard Jesus and Keychain Jesus.

      Fourth, your “truth” is not my “truth”. Truth is relative. I appreciate the time you took to write and understand your message comes from your heart. I believe your intentions are good and I thank you for your concern about my well being.

      Fifth, (I did mention I like lists, right?) you should really try yoga. God comes to me more on my yoga mat than anywhere else. It is this scared time that allows me to calm my mind and open up to messages. I find people often pray to ask for things but how often do we really listen for God to answer us?

      Is my “Giggle On” message in vain? I don’t think so. I only need to touch or help one person to make it all worth the effort. I receive private notes and emails from readers thanking me for sharing myself, for helping them laugh and telling my story.

      Doesn’t really matter if I help another person from this day forward. Doesn’t matter if I earn one penny. As I said in my post “All I can really do is help myself – that is, focus on the “I” and everything else will (I hope) fall into place.”

      Giggle On is my personal journey. I believe laughter is the message I need to bring to myself and the world. God loves the site – the Bible doesn’t tell me so, I simply feel it in my heart.

      The Two Jims love the site too. Lord knows they were both hams and loved attention.

      I do plan to post your comment on my site (anonymously of course) and encourage you to keep speaking your truth and walking your own path.

      Respectfully and in giggles,

  1. Dear Author of “Why another suicide in your life”:

    I have known Christa for her entire life.

    While your e-mail did not offend her, it surely offended me. My offense is not only in your misguided version of “the truth” it is in your need to sit in judgment of those things which you erroneously believe are true.

    I am perplexed that your motive behind your private e-mail to Christa was in order “give her some dignity.” You cannot give someone something they already have. Even if you could, I am fairly certain that Our Father in Heaven did not appoint you with special “dignity granting powers.”

    Did you really mean to suggest that Christa’s friend, Jim2, killed himself because this website does not refer to God sufficiently? Seriously?

    I know that your God, and my God, and Christa’s God frown upon those who pass judgment on others yet that is precisely what you are doing. How dare you suggest that Christa’s motives are for monetary gain or that her mission is simply the ravings of an insincere egomaniac.

    The Holy Book is not silent as to how one should behave and I could pick out endless quotes from scripture illustrating how your e-mail to Christa is an example of un-Christianlike behavior (but I won’t).

    You have no idea how many people have been helped by Christa and by this site. You have no idea how the cost of this site and the cost of most Giggle-On events are solely funded by Christa. You have no idea that when I have been at my lowest that Christa has been there to hold me up.

    I feel sorry for you. Truly. I will pray to your God, and my God and Christa’s God tonight for you.

    God Bless.


  2. AMEN SISTER, YOU KEEP ON KEEPING ON, The giggles in life are what we live for and helps us KNOW GOD has a great sense of humor, after all, look at some of the things HE has given us to giggle about : ).


    • @ Angie – when I first responded to this email I was not angry, now I am. This person implies, as you say, there is a right way to grieve. There is no right way. Instead of sitting in judgment (which I believe God doesn’t even do) perhaps this author would do best to pray and love. Isn’t that what Jesus preached, love? My post was intended to inspire my funny bone and provide perspective on another tragedy and yet I’m left feeling like someone peed in my box of Wheaties. THANK YOU Angie for a lifetime of support and love. I know my crusade here has not been easily understood by many but you understand it is something I must do. Thank you for encouraging me to be me. I love you all the time.

      @ Becky – thanks for that extra shout-out. God DOES have a great sense of humor. Just this morning he was making me laugh as I drove my truck up a very bumpy hill. My Dashboard Jesus was dancing and swaying to the music the whole time. Laughter is an expression of Joy. Joy is how love manifests in our lives and God is trying to show us this love every second of every day.

      The tone of this email stings me and the references to the Holy Bible screams of judgmental religious dogmatic garbage – the same garbage that contributed to Jim #2 taking his own life. The church judged him, beat him down and broke his spirit. He’s dead and there is nothing sadder than a person dying before they have reached their full potential.

      Jim #2 wouldn’t want us to grieve, clutch the Bible and sit in judgment of each other. He would want his buddies to LAUGH their asses off (do the Mutley laugh for example), shake our booties and Giggle AWN (said with a Texan accent).

  3. Dear Anonymous… there ain’t nothing vague about god in yoga and eastern beliefs. You must be speaking from a place of not really knowing anything about them, because anyone who practices yoga (seriously, not just in a commercial yoga class) or any of the eastern philosophies can tell you, as I do, that god is in everything.

    And my concept of god does not include a dude in a chair who looks down on the world and either approves or disapproves of what he sees. My concept of god is that it is in everything this world is made of.

    I think Christa has a fine mission here, and doesn’t need to be “told the truth” by you or anyone else. She’s got a pretty good grip on that already I believe. 😀
    .-= Svasti´s last blog ..Foundations =-.

  4. … I’m waiting for my fingers to type something inspiring or witty… oh well… Christa, thanks for sharing; you are an inspiration to me. Love ya! To everyone else, thanks for supporting Christa with your wisdom and wit, I wish I had your talents. To the emailer – shame on you!

  5. Christa,
    I was thinking about leaving a message for your anonymous writer, but realize that words won’t change his/her beliefs… Maybe my website will. When you’re speaking about suicide, you better damn well know what you’re talking about – especially when it comes to “God”, “faith”, “who is or isn’t getting to heaven” and everything else that becomes a magnet for those who know nothing and must make sure the smack the “truth” of something into our heads. Reality jumps up and says – What Christa is doing is right for her, if it isn’t right for you, go somewhere else…
    Thanks Christa – I’m one you taught to giggle on.

  6. Talk about a bitch slap-that letter is way over the top and this person obviously doesn’t know you. You are a beautiful person inside and out and God is surely on your side. Your spirit and love of life filters through everything you touch. And yes we can’t second guess what is ahead but again if we can giggle on and not ask why God will give us healing. Luv ya A

  7. I, for one, LOVE to read your posts…even giggled out loud a time or two…keep, keeping on Girlfriend!

    I fell in love with Jim #2 when we were in the 7th grade…he was my “first crush” so he’ll always hold a special place in my heart…I am floored anyone would question how one grieves or their faith in God…everyone’s walk with Him is different…but a journey none the less. Rest assured you help people everyday…count me amongst them!

  8. I am SOOOOOOOOOO glad to see you posting again. G’on wit yo bad-ass self, girlfriend!

    Oh, and your private emailer? I’m pretty sure it wasn’t to “give you some dignity” but to protect his/her identity from US!! Joke’s on him/her though – it made it to the site anyway. BWAHAHAHAHA!!! Just bless and release him/her, girl – however many times it takes. 🙂

    I also want you to know that I got some “Chinese” the other night – and immediately thought of you. Dude…it was sooooo good.

    Giggle on, girlfriend…Giggle On!
    .-= Suzanne @ vAssistant Services´s last blog ..In Others’ Words: November 23, 2009 =-.

    • Who would have though this post would have generated so much emotion? I appreciate all the support from my G.O. peeps, Svasti, Angie, Tom, Becky, Beth, Wendy, Anita, Jackie & Connie.

      I’ve been reeling about what to do with myself, this site and my mission. It took me a month to write this post because my brain has been so scattered. I’ve been on an emotional roller coaster ride and once again am asking myself “why am I here?” All this thinking takes time away from laughing…hogwash to that!

      I received an apology from the emailer. I wasn’t mad when I read the first email but after a brewed on it (and after getting two more emails from this person) fumes started to escape from the depths of my skull. Angry Sicilian, not-a-good-thing.

      My email to the emailer (pre-apology):

      I’ve been through hell this past month, my heart is broken and here you are telling me I am not sincere and honest! That’s bullshit. I’m as serious as a heart-attack right now. My post was intended to inspire me to get my funny back and here you are with your Bible pissing in my box of Wheaties.
      Instead of judging me, why not do what Christians are supposed to do. Pray and love. Novel idea, isn’t it?

      The apology:

      Christa, I am deeply sorry. Truly do. I guess you were also on the path of what I feel right now. I understand now never to underestimate what you truly feel, with this current suicide of another special someone in your life you had to go through. It was extremely insensitive of me. So selfish indeed! I did not display the quality and spirit of a true Christian. With all humility, I beg for your forgiveness.

      A snippet from the email after the apology:

      When I first came to your website, I was looking for something that could help due to the suicidal tendencies of a family member. As I read along, I began to wonder to myself “what is the message of this woman?” When I saw the selling of giggleon products, I must admit I felt kind of “disgusted” (I’m sorry if this term makes you mad, but understand how I felt) because it has become so commercialized and superficial. I began to feel that the website does not take suicide in a more serious tone.

      Of course, I do not know you as a person and that this to you is a personal journey, a way of healing for you that you feel you’d like to impart to others – and you did and do help many.

      As humans, we are imperfect. We are taught not to be judgmental. I guess that was my transgression yesterday of which I deeply apologize. I hope you can read this now in an objective way and that will not make you angry anymore.

      Keep on with your journey,

      Moving On

      Apology Accepted. I learned a lot from this post and the interchange with this emailer…no matter what happens in life, we can take every opportunity, every perceived bitch slap in the face and grow from it. So to the emailer, thank you for helping me grow. Lesson learned.

      Suicide isn’t funny. I’m not glorifying it nor am I profiting from it (aside from the $55 bucks I made from selling sparkly t-shirts, I have not earned a penny from Google ads, Café Press or anyone else). As a matter of fact, I’ve spent thousands of my own dollars on design work, development & hosting. Spent countless more greenbacks on shirts I’ve given to friends, prizes I’ve handed out to supporters, hats, clown noses and kazoos to help encourage people to Giggle On. I won’t even mention the free laughter yoga classes or the suicide survivors support group I help fund (I don’t want to sound like I’m tooting my own horn, but obviously, I am). I’m not in this for the money but I admit, it was my hope to somehow turn my passion into a business. Hasn’t happened. I’m not feeling very business minded these days about Giggle On – ultimately I’m in this to spread a message of hope, resiliency and laughter.

      Using my mantra as inspiration, I lead two teams (one for the MS Society and one for the Mental Health Association) and helped raise over $5000 for charities in my state (this doesn’t include the $1000 I personally raised for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention in 2008).

      If you have come to this site to help a suicidal person, please check out the Resources Page. My heart goes out to the emailer and to her family member with suicidal tendencies. I am not a therapist nor do I have any magic answers about suicide prevention – my story is within the cyber walls of this site. Read on, sift through the archives and if you have any desire, you can read about my journey (frankly, I’m getting bored talking about the past).

      I know now *drumroll* the only person I can stop from killing themselves is me. Maybe this site is just my way of keeping myself alive. If that’s the case, I already saved one life, mine, and I can move on and do something else, like start a crochet website, learn to line dance or take lessons to become a professional kazoo player (something REALLY useful).

      Great lesson here for me…perhaps I have not been clear enough in my message. Maybe I fall short of my mission. Maybe I should be funnier (I’ll try harder to make you giggle more Jackie). Perhaps I should revamp the whole site, go commercial and remove all references to suicide.
      OR, maybe I should just keep being me!

      What I’m doing here is right for me (even if it seems wrong to me some days) and as my fellow survivor of suicide Wendy said, “if it isn’t right for you, go somewhere else”. Cheers Wendy, thanks!

      In my post, Beer, Bong Hits and Candy Bars I acknowledged that this site may repel and confuse people. Mission accomplished.

      So, Suzanne, my dearest web lady, maybe we should talk – heck girl, maybe you should bring your Tulsa-ness to Delaware and we can all sit down (you, me and Jayla) and pow- wow about what to do with this Giggle On thang. Funny you mention Chinese – had myself some on Thanksgiving – first year ever not eating turkey and I LOVED it.

  9. Christa – I LOVE YOUR LISTS! I wholeheartedly second #3. I am trying with all of my heart to believe #4. That’s the kind of guilt that creeps up on you in the middle of the night. I think, at times like this when we’re at the lowest of lows, even the smallest amount of laughter can help.

    I’m psyched you bought a nunzilla! I bought one for one of my staff artists a few years ago, and she was a priceless addition to our work/giggle shrine.

    So, time to re-claim life, right? Time to find our smiles again. Thanks for helping me find mine. XOXOX

    • @ Kelli – I knew you had some Italian in you. All you need now is to start adding oil to your hoagie like a normal person and my family might consider adopting your bad blonde self. I’m just sayin’…

      @ Sunny – Suicide allergy? Was that the part you seconded? –is seconded a word-? hummmmm As for #4, ju can doow it, as Jim would say. Even if a depressed and suicidal person actual shares his/her feelings with us there is no guarantee
      1) they want to get help
      2) they will get help
      3) they won’t kill themselves anyway despite our best efforts.

      Don’t let the woulda, coulda, shoulda shit eat away at you. It will if you let it.

      Yes, we’ve got some low times here. This is hard stuff to deal with. Finding your own personal funny bone and taking smalls steps (even if it is a Nunzilla or a boob scarf) to get your giggle back will help. I invite you to share here (since the site would never have happened without #2) things that Jim would do to make you laugh. Remembering those lighter times, the fun moments and the pure silliness will keep his love for you close in your heart and keep his spirit of laughter alive for all the days of your life.

      Reclaim life, YES! We’re not going to let anybody bitch slap our funny. Ballz to that!

      Call to action Miss Sunny: GIGGLE ON!

      @ Margaret – Did you watch the Handerpants video? (click the link) These are tightie whities for your hands sans the fingers. I see myself wearing these while playing my new drums (Santa, I would like a drum set please).

      Seriously, watch the video…I don’t know why it made me laugh so hard, perhaps just the sheer silliness of it delivered dead pan, but I ROLLED!

  10. Ohhhhhh, the Handerpants video. I missed that the first time around. Crazy!!!! And what an email exchange your anonymous person and you had. You handled it so well! I’m very impressed. I have gotten my share of nasties and I respond in kindness and half of them run away (because they were just trolls looking for a fight) and the other half calm the hell down.
    .-= Margaret (Nanny Goats)´s last blog ..Goat Thing of the Day: Curious Starers =-.

  11. Ohhhhhh, the Handerpants video. I missed that the first time around. Crazy!!!! And what an email exchange your anonymous person and you had. You handled it so well! I’m very impressed. I have gotten my share of nasties and I respond in kindness and half of them run away (because they were just trolls looking for a fight) and the other half calm the hell down.
    .-= Margaret (Nanny Goats)´s last blog ..Goat Thing of the Day: Curious Starers =-.

    • @Nichole – Handerpants are underwear for your hands. Little tightie-whities to keep your hands warm and, dare I say, freakishly fashionable.

Leave a Reply